When it comes to dating, girls love to scheme. Not necessarily in a sinister sense, but we have to admit to being very forward thinking and planning things oh so carefully. From timing when messages get sent, to what we wear, how many times we flip our hair around. We are strategically gazing from your lips to your eyes and whilst you’re thinking about the end of the night, we are determining if you’re a suitable date for that wedding in six week’s time. We have got it all figured out and yet in some areas we bomb massively, hugely. Sometimes we have to look at the way a man would do it.  After all, it helps to understand your enemy before you go into battle.

Rejection? Next!
One thing that stunts women in their dating success is their fear of rejection. In a world that constantly forces us to self-validate, when you’re rejected by a dating partner or lover it can really hurt your confidence. What do men do when they are rejected? Well, they are far more used to it than women are so naturally just brush it off and try again. Can you imagine a man crying in the bathroom to the tune of “I’ll never find my soulmate” because the leggy brunette at the bar won’t let him buy her a vodka coke? No you wouldn’t. Men are opportunists in this particular arena.

Within moments of rejection, he is already focusing on a better looking girl in the opposite corner of the bar. If you’re rejected when you make the first move, it really doesn’t matter. Whether by a message online or approaching at a party, you’ve increased your odds, learned something and taken an important step in building up your confidence.

Now Taking Applications, Please Apply Within
The most fun thing about dating is remaining available. Women tend to find their next love interest, spend hours analysing his profile and deciding that because you both love a certain type of champagne, you’re life partners. This is ok, despite it being a little far-fetched. But whilst we are matching up our first names with their last, we are missing out on other potentials. Don’t become fixated on one person and try to make them fit into your perfect picture. When he’s dating, a man would take up all offers he was interested in just to increase his dating pool. The more people you date, the more chance of success you have of finding someone you’re compatible with. Simple maths.

Life Outside Exists
One of the best things men do is have a life outside of dating. They’re dating you on Tuesday night but on Wednesday he’s watching football with the lads, Friday night he promised to go to a gig with a friend and on Sunday he’s playing golf. Ok, maybe the aforementioned aren’t your perfect picture of activities but the point is that he’s not clearing his schedule to make himself available to you nor is he trying to look unavailable, but is really sitting at home in his dressing gown (like we sometimes do!). He is living his life and this is a good thing. Women sometimes struggle with their priorities when they’re dating. The key is to not see him as the main event and to have your own stuff going on. Not only will you focus less on what he is doing and get down about what you’re not doing but he will also find your active life an attractive quality.

Get Real!
One of our biggest downfalls is to let our heads run away with us into fantasy (like with the wedding scenario mentioned above) and though it’s not a bad thing to wear your heart on your sleeve, it’s certainly not a good thing to show this straight away. Men tend to be more reality-centric in affairs of the heart and carefully weigh up their feelings towards someone whereas women are more fantasy-centric and tend to dream and fast forward. Don’t think this goes unnoticed. When we’re dating we need to carefully manage our expectations. This helps us to protect ourselves and have a healthier attitude towards dating.

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