Have you ever looked at a dating profile and realised that this individuals grammar is comparable to that of a 5 year old? Your drawn to a guy or gals profile by a striking photo then read their bio and it’s a real turnoff and decide it’s not even worth meeting them. Or maybe, it just doesn’t bother you..?
Well, a study by Kibin.com suggests that 43 percent of singles say bad grammar is a turnoff. Take a look at this Infographic – Grammar Gets Love
We’ve got such an exciting post lined up for you! We interviewed the famed blogger from The Single Filez about her life and experiences as a single girl in London. Here it is – her gossip, her tips and her stories. Enjoy!
What made you want to start blogging about your dating experiences?
I’d had a stream of really bad luck in the love life department, so I gave up on trying to find someone special and dedicated myself to living a happy single life. However, through a work-related project I had the opportunity to appear in a magazine article which involved speaking to a dating expert and a life coach. The advice I received was helpful, but one thing that stuck in my mind was that I shouldn’t give up. I had to keep trying. I was reminded that when looking for a job, you don’t give up after the first rejection – you keep scouring job ads, you keep applying, you keep going for interviews and you stick at it – that was how I needed to approach dating. I was told that I should take the seriousness out of it and make it more fun. It was suggested that I should write a diary or a blog. Nearly two years later, I’m still single, but loving blogging!
"Being single allows us to be selfish. Being single allows us to do the things they way we want to, how we want to and when we want to."
What are your favourite things about dating?
Now, this is a hard question because being a dating blogger can make you a bit cynical. Sometimes I’ve had to date when I didn’t really feel like dating, mostly because I worried about needing blog content. For the sake of my sanity, I recently took a break and removed myself from the dating merry-go-round for a few months but if I think back to what I love about dating, it would be the feeling of hope and excitement. Every time before you meet someone new, you can’t help but hope that it’s going to be someone special. You can’t help but feel excited about what could potentially happen.
We want to know more about the single life in London, tell us about your weekend habits?
My weekends are extremely varied. They can consist of everything from going to the gym and doing my grocery shopping, to travelling across London to meet friends for dinner and a movie, to jetting off to Madrid on a cheap EasyJet flight. That’s the great thing about being single – the world (or London) is your oyster!
What was the best date you’ve ever been on?
Not to boast, but one of my favorite dates ever was organised by me (ok, maybe I’m boasting just a little!). It was slap bang in the middle of summer and we met at St Katharine Docks which is a picturesque marina with restaurants, shops and a good food market, right next Tower Bridge. It’s beautiful and doesn’t even feel like you’re in London! We then walked across Tower Bridge, taking in the scenery. The rest of the date was spent doing a pub crawl along the river. We stopped at a few pubs along the way (Horniman at Hays, The Anchor Bankside and Studio Six at Gabriels Wharf) plenty of laughter and chatter was had. We finished up near Waterloo where we had dinner at a Las Iguanas – Royal Festival Hall, overlooking the River Thames. The date ended with us sharing a kiss whilst taking in the night-time views of London – it was dreamy!
We love to laugh at our bad dates. What about your worst?
Oh wow, not sure where to start, I’ve had so many. There was the time I was taken to a kebab shop to share a bag of chips for dinner, the time the guy was a bit too keen and took one of my rings and tried to put it on my wedding ring finger, or the time the guy was so embarrassed about something stupid he said, that halfway through the date he did a runner and left me in the bar all on my lonesome – take your pick!
What are your views on online dating vs. offline dating?
I have a love/hate relationship with online dating. I wish it wasn’t so necessary because I do miss the days of meeting people in ‘regular’ situations but realistically, in this day and age, it doesn’t happen like it used to. Online dating is a great way to widen your net and to meet people you wouldn’t normally get the chance to meet. It doesn’t have the stigma attached to it like it used to. Everyone used to think only crazy people were sad enough to look for dates online, nowadays regular, attractive, hard-working professionals like you and I log onto dating sites every single day. I’ve even heard many stories of couples who have met online getting married or moving in together.
Any good dating tips you’d like to share with our Click members?
Ha! I’m far from being a dating expert, so not best placed to give out dating tips but one thing I would say when it comes to online dating is to always let someone know where you are. I always tell a friend who I’m going out with and where we’re going. I give them as much info about my date as possible. Usually there’s no need but I do believe it’s better to be safe than sorry.
What would your advice be to a new single and fabulous?
My advice would be to enjoy it. Being single allows us to be selfish. Being single allows us to do the things they way we want to, how we want to and when we want to. Enjoy that as much as possible while you can and also know that it won’t last forever.
We hope you’ve had a great weekend and we’ve got a treat in store for you! Our F**k Valentine – Just Party! event is coming up soon. Get your tickets here.
Everyone has “adult” friends. You know the ones, 1 x long-term relationship, 1-2 mortgages, 2 x cars, 1 x very large engagement ring, probably 1 x ISA (I still don’t really know what one of these is!). We all launched ourselves upon the world at the same time and whilst some of our friends will morph from 25 to 45 literally overnight, others will stay renting and dating. Not renting dates…renting apartments and dating. Or as I like to term it, living! Though because I fall into the “Others” category, I am slightly biased.
Not my scene at all!
As soon as one of your friends becomes an “adult”, socialising with them suddenly takes on a new dynamic. Instead of gossiping about latest beaus, great dates and the comedy bad ones, you find yourself drawn into conversations about wedding dresses, the disastrous state of the property markets (“You really should think about getting on that ladder”, one cautiously advises me), and sensible cars. Unfortunately I know nothing about wedding dresses, preferring Rodarte to Rowley and my idea of a sensible car is a pre-booked taxi.
I’m not saying it’s impossible to be happy for your adult friend’s radically normal lifestyle, but the real challenge is spending time with them and not questioning your own. Every time I meet up with one of these friends, I go into a calculated frenzy which follows these steps 1. Find suitable life partner. 2. Spend hours on Findaproperty.com searching for dream house that is near good schools. 3. Look into wedding receptions at that amazing Scottish castle I was just recommended. Waking from this temporary bout of insanity is like waking from a bad dream. Awful because it’s a reality so far removed from my own. I return back to my work week peppered with lunches, cocktails, at least one out of control night and a weekend brunch. I’m still asking myself, why does my adult friend have it all and I have nothing to comfort me on a Sunday morning but a Bloody Mary?!
Bizarrely, over drinks with a newly engaged “adult” (she has been playing with her hair and wrapping her hand around a champagne glass so to give me as many glimpses of her ring as possible), she very tipsily tells me that she is secretly jealous. Unbelievable. Jealous of what I ask. She tells me how she would love to go out for drinks randomly mid week and arrange dates for a Saturday night. She also liked the idea of being able to change your apartment every 6 months. Sayings are awfully cliche, but never has the one about the grass always being greener, been so true!
The sun is out and I think that means we should go hunt down a fabulous beer garden. Need ideas? This should help…
It was truly unbelievable. If someone has said to me 6 months ago that I would spend my Friday night in an all you can eat Chinese buffet, well I would say they were insane. Ditch my Friday party routine, cocktails and champagne for gelatinous sweet and sour pork and lukewarm noodles? Impossible! But alas, tis true. Last night I went along for sheer compliance and I actually learned a few things.
If you haven’t been to an all you can eat buffet before, the concept is pretty simple. You take a plate and peruse the various things on offer and then load up with whatever catches your eye first. My dinner companion, a buffet connoisseur, was annoyed with my buffet etiquette when I came back with my plate filled with spring rolls and seaweed. “You’re not eating a three course meal, there is a real strategy to this!” As he explained to me his buffet rules, I realised that the similarities between good buffet practice and those we employ when dating, are many. Who would have thought??
Firstly, when you approach the buffet with your plate you choose anything and everything within proximity. You don’t mind if one of your choices isn’t quite to your taste because you know you are going back for more. Second visit, this time you’re a bit more selective but you still keep an open mind. You’re choosing maybe one or two of your favourites from round one but you’re also venturing out into uncharted territory with the options you didn’t get chance to explore first time round. Are you starting to see where I’m drawing parallels here?
Third visit. This time it’s quite different. Not only are you wiser to what is best for you out there but you’re also being smart about what you go back to you. This is a process of selection and filtering after all. Your choosing you’re favourites, the very best. Maybe you go for the top three or maybe there’s just one thing, like salt and pepper squid, that you adore, just have to have more of and there’s only room for this one on your plate. You might even go back for a fourth round. What comes next? Well dessert of course.
It’s Saturday and you need plans for tonight? Click now and make plans with one (of a few) of our gorgeous members. Happy weekend!
After 3 months in a new job I was asked to complete a self appraisal. This was to be based on how competently I thought I was doing my job, new things I had learned and the dreaded question of where I saw myself progressing. Having never done this before, it just seemed strange to have to evaluate myself and even more unnerving, having to state my future intentions. My 3 month appraisal also bizarrely coincided with the watershed point of a relationship when it hits the 3 month mark.
Though it appears to be such a short period of time, it is definitely one of those crucial markers of when a new relationship is suddenly subject to an evaluation. How have you performed, are you a competent dater? Most importantly, where do you see this going? I’ve known people to meet, fall for each other, marry and produce spawn inside a year. However, the majority of people I know can testify to reaching the 3 month mark, looking back over those first dates and deciding to make a proper go of it or walk away unscathed before it’s too late.
I know how to do my job. I am confident in my strengths yet recognise my weaknesses. I understand where growth is necessary, where I want to be and what I would like to achieve. This just needed to be translated onto the rather intimidating form in front of me. Even worse, I had to score myself on each category out of 5. Awful. But in a relationship there is no scheduled appraisal meeting, and there is no form to fill in.
|
I |
0-5 |
Comments |
| (I) Evaluate how charming you have been over the last 12 weeks and demonstrate in no fewer than 3 points, moments when you have exhibited your most charming behaviour |
3/5 |
?? |
Case in point. It simply can’t be done. The 3 month relationship appraisal can manifest twofold: either you both sit down and have “the discussion” or it’s an unspoken agreement perfectly understood by both parties. Whether the outcome results in staying together or agreeing to go your separate ways, 9 times out of 10 some sort of outcome is reached.
It was the 3 month watershed that made me enter into thoughts of self evaluation – needless to say I became exasperated and gave up. Knowing my abilities in a professional context was easy whereas knowing them in a romantic one was virtually impossible. Having not (knowingly) applied my usual “charm offensive”, I struggled to realise what I had done right. Even worse, what I was going to do next? I love dating and have perfected to a fine art, the 5 date fling. All fun and games, everything is kept light-hearted and then both parties walk away, looking back fondly and more often than not remaining good friends. After this point I am well out of my depth. Being a full time girlfriend/boyfriend is a demanding position and one that warrants care and attention. Skill is key here. I needed a plan…time for some gentle strategy.
It has to be said, speaking from recent experience, that finding a flatmate or a place to live in London is harder than finding a partner. Fact. What should be a relatively simple and uncomplicated process is instead a rigomorole of one step forward, ten steps back. Not only is it near impossible to find the right place, in the right area for the right price, but it’s even worse trying to find someone to live with.
When you meet a potential flatmate it’s not too dissimilar from a blind date. You go into it without knowing too much having only exchanged the odd email or text message. You don’t know what they look like, how they dress, how they talk etc and considering you are potentially entering into quite an intimate agreement, it’s fankly quite bizarre. After exchanging pleasantries and the usual rubbish small talk about the weather or traffic, the “interview” begins.
Both of you spend time awkwardly discussing likes, dislikes, interests and social habits. Just as you wouldn’t want to convey a promiscuous, reckless image of yourself on a date, you take the same measured steps in trying to romance your flatmate. Essentially, you’re trying to come across as normal a human being as possible without sending signals that you’re boring, dull and wouldn’t add anything to the house dynamic. As on a first date, when its unwritten code to let the gentleman pay so as to avoid any uncomfortable money drama, on first meeting a flatmate it’s already been made clear beforehand the financial terms of whatever contract will be entered into. So much so, that it almost seems rude to raise questions about deposits on the first “flatmate date”.
Is this perfect place as elusive as the perfect partner?
The crossover between the two worlds of finding a flatmate and finding a soulmate are not only apparent to myself, but also many others. At least those who have introduced the idea of “flatmating” – the speed dating style event that is geared to helping you find the perfect living partner. And don’t think that it doesn’t go two ways. Upon stumbling across what seemed like the perfect deal (right place, right price, right people), I felt like I had charmed my way into one particular East London apartment until I was turned down on the basis that one of the tenants would have rather taken me out for drinks than live with me.
He thought by refusing me the apartment but offering to take me out, was a perfectly acceptable thing to do. So there you have it, it’s easier to pick up someone than to find somewhere to live! Note to fellow daters, you should feel encouraged by this and note to fellow househunters, I feel your pain.
Just when I think I’ve heard all things weird and wonderful about first dates, first encounters and dating experiences in general, there is always something that comes along and surprises me. Last night a good friend phoned me to tell me she had met someone. My friend is one of many who are serial daters and therefore is a constant source of inspiration to me, but the latest tale tops them all.
They had met five years ago in a club in their home town, found a dark corner and had been smooching each other all night. There was definitely chemistry though he was moving away and at the end of the night they didn’t exchange details. A few years on she saw some of his photos on Facebook through a mutual friend’s feed and decided to friend request him. After exchanging pleasantries online (see our guide to online dating), they took things to the next level and picked up a phone. They would spend hours each night talking over their interests and swapping experiences until one day she didn’t hear anything from him.
Are you more likely to find love at a funeral than a wedding?
After prodding him with a casual text, he responded and apologised for not being in touch. His dad had died. My poor friend didn’t know what to do! It turns out that he asked if she wouldn’t mind attending the funeral with him. Now, to most people this would seem a little strange, but they shared childhood friends and most of them would be there as well. Where the comedy is in this fairly macabre tale is that my friend still found it in herself to prepare for the funeral as she would for a first date (as it essentially was their first date!)
“I had to go and buy all neutral makeup!” she told me as it was important that she looked good but also respectful. It’s safe to say my friend is certainly very colourful when it comes to getting ready to go out! In fact, it took her 3 hours to prepare, she had even bought a new dress. Things went well. She was supportive and the perfect shoulder to cry on. Everyone got a bit drunk and he ended up back at her place. They have been inseparable ever since…
It’s a strange one even though love and death are always seen as inextricably linked. A long time ago, a poet named William Blake often mused about the “marriage hearse” and on a lighter note, I have a friend who will always wear all black to weddings because he can’t see the difference between a wedding and a funeral! It certainly brings new meaning to the vows “till death do us part”.
Drinks, drinks & more drinks
He broke my heart when I was 16. Fourteen years on, I bumped into him again online. Back in the teenage days there was mischief galore: excess of everything, trouble with the police, clubbing missions, going awol for days, giving our parents the run around. Extreme naughtiness.
When I received his message and checked out his profile, he looked just as I remembered. We arranged a get together immediately.
The date was one of my best – we had a top-notch catch up, laughed uncontrollably, and reminisced for hours whilst knocking back the cocktails. We did a multitude of bar hopping and what can only be described as running round town like teenagers.
The teenage theme was continued at closing time. My flat was being renovated so I was staying at my parents’ and he had a three week gap between rented properties so was staying with his folks. We didn’t want the night to finish, so with drink-clouded minds we decided the only course of action was to go back to…his parents’ place, to continue the fun.
As the taxi got nearer, it was like a trip down memory lane – places and land marks. We tip-toed in and went upstairs to the spare room and the incredibly small single bed (a fact not disclosed in the after-party location discussions). We both passed out immediately, and the next thing I knew, his mum was speaking through the door, offering him a cup of tea. The last time I saw his mum, I was under fierce interrogation for the alleged smoking of ‘funny fags’ (her terminology, not mine). We looked at each other, muffled our laughter, and planned our exit strategy in whispers.
I’m sure his parents really wouldn’t have minded that I’d stayed over (we were now both 30 after all), but we decided that sneaking out without being ‘busted’ would be a much more fitting end to our get-together. We made a silent dash when his mum was on the phone and giggled all the way to the train station.
It had been pure regression. I felt 16 again, and it was clear that we were still besotted by each other, but this time as friends. I love the unpredictability of my online adventures.
Regression and recycling…we love it. If you enjoyed this check out our post “Do You Have the Ex Factor?”
I’m heavily embroiled in all the social networking and dating sites – I’m always online. Contrary to the belief of most employers, it’s a great way to pass the working day.
Welcome to my very own Cougar Town
The key anomaly between my real life and my online life is my age. Online I either remain silent on this point, or stick rigidly to a youthful 27 years, the reality being that I am almost 31. My aging policy being one virtual year for every three years that pass in the real world. This approach works fine until the offline world and online worlds meet…
I met a gorgeous boy on a West End night out and there was an instant mutual attraction. Many drinks later the question of age arose. I surprised myself when “I’m 27” rolled off my tongue as easily in the real world as it did online. He was 26.
I couldn’t wait to date him; there were nice dinners, boozy days out and bbq’s in the park. But you need a good memory to be a good liar – before long he slipped up and revealed that he was in fact 22. I found myself right in the middle of a double age lie. And a double age lie that meant I would have left sixth form before he’d started senior school, when I was having my first sip of cider in the park at 14, he was 6, and the icing on Pinocchio’s cake – he’d never heard of Grange Hill!
I confessed as well and our reactions to the discovery of the truth couldn’t have been more different. His exact words were, “That’s awesome!” The older women thing often being a draw for guys. My immediate thought was about what his mum would say to me about taking advantage of her little boy. I’m still trying to resolve my internal turmoil as to why I’m so attracted to the young ones… watch this space.
