The first date is an interview. You put your best foot forward and hope that you’ve conveyed the best version of yourself. The second date is certainly more relaxed but it’s definitely time to take things to the next level. This brings me untold amounts of stress as my first date conversations come so easily whereas on a second date I’m expected to impress to the same level whilst assuming a more casual air. Oh god. Keep calm. Where are we going to go? What topics are still off limits?
In such situations I find the best thing to do is to do some research (this usually means consulting my successful “dater” friends and the truly awful ones too – and then doing exactly the opposite of what they advise)…
- With second dates the focus should just be on each other. Resist temptation to invite your date to your local for drinks. Remove yourself from familiar surroundings and ensure they do the same. Getting to know each other without the pressure of the first date is key here. If you’re both somewhere that’s totally unrelated to you, you’ll find that nothing with colour your judgement. You’re also on an equal territory. We are all guilty of getting too comfortable/ too cocky in the local pub.
- Keep the conversation light but meaningful. Talk about travels, where you went to school. If you a play a sport or are training for a marathon, divulge! Recent studies have shown that people respond well to active lifestyles. One subject you should avoid…the ex. Trust me, no date wants to listen to your bitter rants. It will NEVER look good despite it being tempting to conjure the sympathy vote (also terrible).
A Load of Rubbish
- When someone requests a second date, play hard to get. Or if you’re going to request a second date wait ‘x’ amount of time. You don’t want to seem desperate!
This is ridiculous. If you want to see someone again why bother trying to force a delay for the sake of appearing aloof. If you want to see them again, you know what to do!
- Keep the act up. That’s what 3rd dates are for.
I would say the second date is so crucial to the progression of a relationship. You’ve passed the first round and now it’s good to show more of your personality. Your date is looking for something more substantial to what they saw first time round. Why risk denying yourself another opportunity? That said, leave strange quirks and bizarre tendencies for later down the line.
Thinking of arranging a second date and need some ideas? Check out our member reviews and favourite places. They really do know best.