When you’re dating it seems like everyone has an opinion and advice ready to dish out. Make sure you show your shoulders, it makes him think of boobs. You have to be rude to her at first and give her a “a neg” (as in negative compliment). Stare into their left eye and they’ll want to have sex with you. This advice was probably unsolicited. Over my dating career, I’ve received some terrible advice. Some from friends, some from acclaimed experts. I thought I would share with you in the hope you could avoid it like you would an embarrassing ex!
Listen up Girls:
“If you are in a long-distance relationship, he must visit you at least three times before you visit him. Remember, the first three visits are really nothing more than three dates… and on the first three dates we don’t have sex with a man or have him stay at our place overnight.” – The Rules by Ellen Fein & Sherrie Schneider
Was there ever a book written that was more detrimental to anyone’s sex life and dating exploits?!
“When at a bar, scrunch up a napkin, dip it into your glass of water and throw it at his head and smile at him. Trust me, this works.” – a terrible “expert”
I actually tested this…it did NOT go well.
“I’m all about the cleavage! Everybody that knows me knows that about me, and if you don’t have it, I know Victoria’s Secret has got some bras that can help that situation out.” – The Rules According to JWoww (of Jersey Shore)
You should never take advice from anyone on Jersey Shore. Ever. They are all ridiculous and this is why they are entertaining. You run the risk of being equally ridiculous if you were to trust them with your dating life.
Trust me boys:
Guy: “What nationality are you?”
Girl: “French”
Guy: “Seriously? No Way!!! The girl I had the biggest crush on in high school was French!I Can’t even talk to you now.” – The Massive Complete Book of Mystery’s Pick-up Artist Routines.
Guys, Mystery is not a god. He doesn’t always get it right as demonstrated in the above example. This is not only confusing (which conversation openers should never be) but it’s quite transparent as a line that’s supposed to create some sort of effect.
“It’s not lying, it’s flirting.”
No it is lying. Never advisable.
“Just be yourself. If they don’t like you for who you are then they aren’t worth being with.” – standard advice from friends/ parents who know as much about dating as a cast member of Jersey Shore does.
A first date is not the opportunity to reveal your true self. It’s an audition. Treat it like a job interview. You’re not being someone else. It’s still you but your best bits. Let them discover all your bizarre quirks after a few more dates! If you like one too many beers or sitting on the sofa with your hand down your trousers, girls don’t want to see on their first date you getting obliterated and fondling yourself! An extreme example perhaps but you get the point.
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